Sunday was devastating! Church was wonderful…time with my husband out shopping for new polos and oversized T-shirts for my son, Caleb. Have I told you about him? That would take a separate blog alone! But let me try…briefly.
Caleb, named after Caleb of the Bible who chose to stand in the minority and about whom God said, “has a unique spirit and serves me wholeheartedly,” is 23 years old, has severe/profound autism, nonverbal, functions at an 18-month level, and lives in a group home with 3 others; it is also staffed 24/7. He has extroadinarily high needs of environmental controls, structure, behavioral programming, and predictability in order for him to be safe, content, and functioning…equating to the best life for him as possible.
Very often on Sundays, we get Caleb and take him to his favorite place – McDonald’s – and go for rides in the country. But this past Sunday, going to the group home, I was flooded with pain, hurt, and anger…as so many of the basics with regard to staff providing care responsibilities had been totally neglected and the competence of staff was very questionable. In truth, except for one staff person where I am sure the issue is competence, the true issue is laziness.
So…how do I find the gifts or look for the mercies of God when I am blinded by righteous indignation that Caleb, dependent for full assistance with everything, is not served with the dignity and the quality of life he is entitled to? Well, stay tuned, as my next entry will show you how this was possible and how God incredibly reminded me of His providence and gracious mercy in the middle of my hurt.