Remembering God’s Mercies While Hurting…Part I

Sunday was devastating!  Church was wonderful…time with my husband out shopping for new polos and oversized T-shirts for my son, Caleb.  Have I told you about him?  That would take a separate blog alone!  But let me try…briefly.

Caleb, named after Caleb of the Bible who chose to stand in the minority and about whom God said, “has a unique spirit and serves me wholeheartedly,” is 23 years old, has severe/profound autism, nonverbal, functions at an 18-month level, and lives in a group home with 3 others; it is also staffed 24/7.  He has extroadinarily high  needs of environmental controls, structure, behavioral programming, and predictability in order for him to be safe, content, and functioning…equating to the best life for him as possible.

Very often on Sundays, we get Caleb and take him to his favorite place – McDonald’s – and go for rides in the country.  But this past Sunday, going to the group home, I was flooded with pain, hurt, and anger…as so many of the basics with regard to staff providing care responsibilities had been totally neglected and the competence of staff was very questionable.  In truth, except for one staff person where I am sure the issue is competence, the true issue is laziness.

So…how do I find the gifts or look for the mercies of God when I am blinded by righteous indignation that Caleb, dependent for full assistance with everything, is not served with the dignity and the quality of life he is entitled to?  Well, stay tuned, as my next entry will show you how this was possible and how God incredibly reminded me of His providence and gracious mercy in the middle of my hurt.

With gratitude,


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5 Responses to Remembering God’s Mercies While Hurting…Part I

  1. Denise your post moved me you are strong loving Mum and I admire you greatly. I have a little experience in fighting for my child’s rights and needs but it pales in comparison to what you have had to go through. Much love

  2. Deeply moving story Denise. I love your photo of him, what a handsome young man. There is a lot behind those eyes.

  3. Angela says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, what an inspiration. And I love the portrait of Caleb and the dog. Love it.

  4. Pingback: Remembering God’s Mercies When I Hurt…Part II | New Mercies I See

  5. Helen says:

    This is very moving Denise – you’re inspirational. There have been times when I’ve had to fight for one of mine – it’s so emotionally draining. A truly beautiful portrait of your son too.

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